Which Way To Nowhere
by Alex Freakin' Way
Summary: A series of drabbles.
1. Short

**A/N: This is a collaboration between me and Skippy. We figured this was a better way to do it then our other version, because these were already written out, and really, much cuter. The chapters will be short, but we already have 34 of them typed and we're not done yet. So really, isn't it worth it? **

**Disclaimer: We do not own Newsies, or any of the characters mentioned in the movie. Skippy owns Babydoll, Mousers owns Doll, and the loverly Rose owns Lightning.**

short

I'm new. Manhattan is odd to me. I've spent a little time selling for Brooklyn, but this…this is just odd. People are playing loudly, it's more like what I would expect a family to be like. I'm twelve, but I feel younger here. Mainly because I'm a good four inches shorter than a lot of the boys. Like the tan one that stops to give me a look over. He calls me short and I glare at him.

Jack, my new leader, claps me on the back and gestures to the boy. "This is Mush."

I hesitate for a moment before saying, "Hey. I'm Babydoll."

He laughs, "What kind of name is that?"

"A good one! Better than Mush! Who'd want to scream that from a train as it rolls away? No one. It would be weird."

"Same with Babydoll."

I roll my eyes and let Jack lead me away to show me the bunks. I walk on the tips of my toes to seem taller so Mush won't call me short anymore.


	2. Under Lock and Key

Under Lock and Key

I asked her to come along, only because she looked bored. I was used to exploring the lodge, but I hadn't tried to attic yet. When I was younger, the thought was scary. Now, I was busy so often I hadn't been able to get around to it. But the headline had been so good, the papers had sold almost as fast as it took to buy them. So, I had decided that today would be the day I searched the attic. And I had run into her, and before I had even really thought about it, I had invited her along.

She had been hesitant at first, because she's a girl and they're wimps, but she had agreed finally. And now here we were. The attic. As far as I knew, the only people who'd ever been up here hadn't touched anything. Just... looked. Mush remembered the times when Jack and David, Spot and Race, or Specs and Dutchy had been up there. They'd never brought anything down though. They never even really talked about it. I had thought that meant there was something really scary up there, but none of them ever LOOKED scared when they came down. Just... happy.

And now I was here too. Honestly, it didn't look like anything special. Just... junk. Babydoll looked at me, obviously confused about why I'd wanted to come up here.

"Just look around. There has to be SOMETHING interesting up here." she shrugged, as if she didn't exactly believe it, but whatever. I stuck my tongue out at her, and started looking through the boxes.

We were up there about thirty minutes when I finally found something. It was a small wooden box, with a lock. I called out for her to help me find the key, and she popped up from boxes that were piled about two times higher then her. She held out a key tied to a shoe string.

"Like this?" she asked innocently. I grabbed it from her, and put it in the lock. It opened the box, and we eagerly looked inside. In the box, was a rock. A rock that had been polished, and painted. I studied it for a moment, noting the heart and flower painted on it. It was obviously a girl thing. I turned around, and handed it to Babydoll.

"Here. It's pretty. Like you." I blushed realizing what I'd said, taking the box and key for myself. It might come in handy later. She was blushing too, but I noticed she was holding the rock tightly. When we climbed down from the attic, I watched her go off, rock still in hand. I smiled slightly. Now I understood why everyone was so happy when they came down from the attic. Good things must happen there all the time. Maybe when I'm older, I'll check see if Babydoll still had that rock...


	3. The Scab

the scab

"It's Jack…" My head snaps up from my hands to look up when Les speaks. "Hey, it's Jack!"

David pulls the little kid back into the shadows and I stay tight against my barrel. I still can't believe they got him in the Refuge. I glance over at Mush, then peek around to watch the carriage pull up.

"Where're they takin' him, Dave?"

Yeah, David, I think. Where are they taking Jack? "There's only one way to find out." the clean-cut boy takes off his hat and smoothes his hair, then watches the carriage take Cowboy away. "I'll meet you guys at the Square. Racetrack, watch him."

And he's off.

I start to think of where those men could be taking Jack. After Dave's gone I speak softly, "There can't be any place worse than the Refuge except jail…" I panic, turning to the boys frantically, "they're not taking him to jail, are they?"

My voice is apparently a little too loud, because they shove me further back into the alley and Mush tells me to shut up. There are a few whisperings that Jack can't go to jail, then speculation on why Mush would let me tag along. "Goils only make things worse, always overreactin', bein' loud."

I scowl and take my place next to Boots. My hair's a little mussed, and I wish I'd tied it back. I was only encouraging their doubt. But if we actually had been busting Jack out, I would've been a lot of help! The boys leave, except for Mush, who lags behind to give me a half-hearted smile. "You want someone to catch us out here? C'mon, Babydoll."

"Maybe I still wanna talk to Crutchy," I say. But I really don't want to talk to Crutchy. I know there's nothing for us to talk about. So does Mush. He takes my arm, stringing me along, back to the Square, to meet David.

When we get there, I can tell he's forcing a smile, telling us that Jack will be fine and we should continue with our protest tomorrow as planned. I stand on my toes and shout from the back of our small crowd, "He ain't in jail, right?"

Mush yanks me back to the flats of my feet and hides me behind him.

"No, he's not in jail. Just back at the Refuge, I think. Now, everyone just needs to go back to their lodging houses so we can be ready to fight the World tomorrow, okay?"

There's a lot of grumbling, but we start heading home. I nearly break away to go and demand to know what the situation with Jack is, but Mush links his arm around mine the moment I step away and drags me to the lodging house.

In the morning, I get up, braid my hair, and prepare myself for the first day without Jack helping David lead. I spend a few minutes chatting with Skittery, Blink, and Boots in the walk to the distribution center.

The protest ends in the carriage making it through anyway. Kids from opposite sides of the street meet in the middle and start shouting and fighting. I run to the middle to try and help break things up, but Spon Conlon has me beat. He doesn't give the kids a talking to, but summons Racetrack to verify if he's seeing things or not. I look where I think he is…at the gates, where the scabs are located. There's a new one being walked out. One in nice clothes. He looks familiar…and then it hits me.

It's Jack.

It's Jack!

I nearly run forward before Mush steps forward to the line of bulls that keep him held back, though he's pushing against them. "Jack…Jack, look at me, will ya? C'mon, it's me, Mush! Look at me! What're you doing!"

I run over to be further down the line of cops and try to duck under as Kid Blink shoves his way forward. I nearly topple over at the force of the shove that the bull in front of me gives. I straighten up and call out, "Jack! Jack! You can't ditch us like this!"

That's when I hear the Weasel say the words 'Mr. Pulitzer picked them out himself.'

Pulitzer bought Jack?

I run at the human barrier again–enraged, hurt. I listen to Racetrack yell and nearly add to it myself. But my breath is knocked out of my body when I'm shoved back into the crowd–hard–and hit the ground on my back. I finally get it back once they've started to carry Spot away, and that is when I scramble to my feet, run to the bull-line (not enought to get shoved back again) and shout. "YOU DIRTY SCAB! JACK, HOW COULD YOU?"

My tone is not one of fury, though. It is one of pain and broken trust, cracking when I shout 'how could you'.

"So this is why you didn't run away last night," I hear David say. "You're a liar. You lied about everything! You lied about your father being out west, 'cause he's not out west! You didn't even tell me your real name!"

And that is the final straw. I run from the crowd, tears pricking at my eyes. I've been buying lies from Jack Kelly for two years. No, no wait. He isn't Jack Kelly. Because David said he'd never told his real name. I only make it back to Mush, though. Because he sees me and grabs my arm. I duck my head and hastily wipe my eyes, trying to conceal my emotional weakness as a girl. I glance up in time to see David run at Jack and get held back by the bulls.

We're pushed aside like cattle as they escort Jack to the streets to sell.

"I TRUSTED YOU!"

"Seize the day, huh, Jack?"

"Hey, he's foolin' 'em!" Les pipes up.

I pity him. This poor kid is too innocent to understand.

"So he can spy on 'em or somethin'…Yeah, that's it! He's–he's foolin' 'em!"

I shake my head and start to walk away. Mush's hand is still on my arm and I'm tugged back before I can get anywhere. My eyes are still stinging with tears just waiting to bubble up. I hesitate a moment, then bury my head in his chest and cry, hugging him around the neck. "It was all just a lie…a lie we've been buyin' for who knows how long! This ain't fair…"

He doesn't say a word. I sniffle, look up at him, and see he looks about as hurt as I feel. I try to control my crying, but keep my arms around him, even when he finally speaks, trying to get me to settle down and be quiet, because people are starting to stare. His heart isn't in it, though. I give him a look and say softly, "I looked up to him…didn't you?"

"Yeah…I did. And we both trusted him. All of the newsies in Manhattan did."

"Then why would he do this to us?"

He returns my hug at last, "I don't know, Babydoll."

I lift my head to look behind me, trying to see if Jack's still there, pulling out some sort of strategy to bring everything down. Hoping that somehow Les Jacobs was right, and he was only acting.

But Mush's tighter hug lets me know that we've probably lost Cowboy for good.


	4. She Said

She says she doesn't need my help. Well, fine. It's not like she's anything special. Just a fellow 'Hattaner that was in trouble. Its not like I wouldn't do the same thing for Blink or Race. shoulda just let her bracelet get stolen.

She said she didn't need my help. So I didn't help her. Its her fault she fell. It was obvious the ice was there. I noticed. And its not like she CRIED or anything. So why do I feel so bad?

She said not to. So I didn't. I walked away instead of kissing her. So why do I feel like I, or maybe we, made the wrong choice?


	5. Help

He doesn't matter…he's just another boy in Manhattan that teases me on occasion. He doesn't need to help me. It's my bracelet; it's the only piece of jewelry I own. I can get it back myself. So when he starts chasing after the pickpocket who stole it, I yell at him. "I don't need your help!"

I don't notice the ice is there. I'm running, trying to catch up with someone who'd given me too much for his paper. My feet disappear from under me and I fall, pain bursts in my hands and knees. Tears prick at my eyes, but I blink them away when I see Mush. I don't need his help…but I want it…and I'm too proud to ask for it.

I watch him walk away and my heart constricts while my throat closes. Why can't I ask him for this one thing? Why can't I ask him for this one shred of help and support? Because it's a little too late now…isn't it? I need to speak a little louder than a whisper when my lips finally form the words, "Help me…"


	6. Cooties

I've never heard of cooties before, but now that I may have them I'm worried. I don't have enough money for a doctor, and fifteen is too young to die... I need help.

Jack's laughing. He says cooties aren't real. That Babydoll didn't give them to me after all. I breath a sigh of relief and can move on.

Until I see her and an idea forms in my head. Race would be proud. I walk up to her, brace myself, and kiss her cheek.

"Hope you don't get cooties." She looked confused, but also slightly worried. Ha. I'll let Jack deal with it.


	7. Cooties II

I only kissed his cheek to tease him. It was funny, though, when someone brought up cooties and he started looking worried. I watch, hiding behind the corner as Jack laughs. I don't stick around to hear what they're talking about, because Boots has poked me in the back and challenged me to a game of marbles.

After the game, I walk back through the room. He walks up to me and kisses my cheek. I freeze, blinking in shock. After a second, my hand goes up to my kissed cheek.

"Hope you don't get cooties," he says and walks away. I make a mad dash up the stairs and find Jack.

"JACK! JAAAAACK! Mush gave me cooties! What are they?"

Jack sighs, then laughs, explaining that cooties aren't real. I scowl, fold my arms over my chest, and begin to plot my revenge.


	8. Crush

I've never had a crush on a girl before. At least, one that actually meant something. There was Lightning, back when we were young and both had parents, but that was more adoration and friendship, almost like a sibling, then actual romance. So here I am, a fifteen year old boy with no girl. Normally, I wouldn't care. I mean, a lot of the older guys don't have girls either. Except...

Babydoll. Every time I'm around her, I feel weird. Like I just know I'm going to mess up and say something stupid. I get nervous, for no apparent reason. It's not like she's scary. She's shorter than me, and I'm pretty sure I'm stronger. So I can't explain it.

But it's not going away.

If anything... it's getting worse.


	9. Smart

I'm not smart. I never have been and I never will be. Sometimes I won't be able to read a word in the paper that I make my living off of. But it doesn't bother me. I just guess what it means. I don't want to be like the Mouth. I like being Mush just fine.

Even though I'm not smart, I'm not dumb either. Being younger than most of my friends, I can feel like it sometimes. But I'm really not. I've heard rumors that people from places like Brooklyn can't even read. I can read. Therefore, I am not dumb.

But sometimes she makes me feel dumb. I'll open my mouth to say something, and forget it when I see her. Or I'll be hanging out with the guys, smiled at her as she passes, and be picked on for the rest of the day.

Usually, I don't like feeling dumb. But I guess, for her, I'll make an exception.


	10. When He's Not There

They need to stop asking if we're together. I mean, even Jack's starting to drop hints and looks when he thinks He isn't looking. Why do people think we're together?

But truthfully, I daydream when he's not there. I've caught how he's looked at me once or twice, and I have to look away now because I'm scared I'll blush or give something away.

We're not together. We can't be together because…because…we just can't.


	11. Need You Now

We had a shouting match last night. There wasn't a lot of substance, just a lot of going back and forth shouting "FINE!", trying to outdo each other. I'd been the one to storm out of the room and slam the door. Jack gave me this look, like he understood "love problems", and I only glared at him. It'd had nothing to do with love…at least, I didn't think so.

We haven't talked all day today. Haven't even given each other a glance. Jack gives me that look again when I get back from selling at the same time as you. We finally look at each other, and we're exchanging glares. I've never stayed this mad at you for this long.

When the lights go out, I roll onto the side where I can see your bunk and frown worriedly. I realize in this moment that I need you your comfort. Your acceptance of an apology that I wouldn't have to say out loud. Why can't you just be able to read my mind an know that I'm sorry now?


	12. My Girl

She doesn't know how I look at her. I don't think she wants to. She's just as scared as I am. Just as unwilling to fall. Just as worried about being hurt. All my friends have their girls, and for some reason, some of them think she is mine.

Sometimes I think I'd like her to be mine. Sometimes I wonder if she'd like me to be hers. We're not as young anymore. No longer do thoughts of cooties worry us. Threats of kisses hold little power. It's nothing I haven't got before.

Jack gives me a look every time she's around. For someone so smart, he sure can be dumb sometimes. Because it's obvious she's not mine. Obvious from the way she'll avoid my gaze, as if on purpose. From the way she doesn't notice how I look at her.

She's not my girl.

But that's not my fault.


	13. People Will Say We're In Love

I smirk as Mush walks with me through Central Park. He swings around a lamppost and makes me stop short. My heart palpitates and his face never moves closer than two inches from mine when he speaks. "Have you heard what they're saying about us at the lodging house?"

"I've caught some of it," I say softly, avoiding looking him in the eye for a split second, then meeting it with a wider smirk.

"They think you're my girl," he states and we start moving forward again. "that you're stuck on me like stink on the Delancys."

I laugh, sell my last paper, and casually make my way to a tree. I sit underneath it, "I've heard something like that. Except that you're the one who's stuck."

Mush sits down and allows me to lean against him. "Where do they think of things like that?"

"Maybe they saw us coming down from the attic," I hypothesize, closing my eyes and thinking of causes, "or we're acting like we're stuck on each other."

I would like that, at least a little bit, to prove those whisperings true. But it might make things awkward between us or we could get hurt.

"How do we get them to shut up?"

"You could've not followed me to Central Park," I open one eye to glance at him.

"I did not!"

I smile, then laugh, "Don't laugh at my jokes, then."

"I don't laugh at your jokes! No one laughs at your jokes, Babydoll."

I roll my eyes, "Do you have any ideas, then, Mush?"

"You could stop sighing when you think I'm not looking."

"That's a lie!" my eyes open and I give Mush a shocked look.

"It is not!"

I scowl and lean against him a little more. His hand trails along my braid and rests on my shoulder. He's gotten me beat on this one point, I have sighed once or twice, "Fine. No sighing. But you're wrong about me sighing. I am not some lovesick hoity-toity."

"Whatever you say," his body shakes with laughter and I smile. "And you shouldn't look at me so much."

I look up at him, "Why, are you embarrassed?"

"No," he stops laughing.

"And you have to dance with other girls at Medda's next party. Last time you almost shoved Point out of the way before the song was even over."

"But I was the first person to ever ask to do dance."

I try not to blush, "Don't be too proud of that. If you…if we keep this up, people might say we're in love or something."


	14. Many a New Day

"Mush," I call out, trying to get him to wave at me. There's a party at Medda's in a couple hours, and he hadn't asked me to go with him. I didn't want him to, anyway. But I still would like to talk before it started, maybe walk there. We don't believe in cooties anymore. I call out again. "Hey, Mush!"

He ignores me, focusing on talking to his friends. I scowl and storm up to the girl's bunks. A few of them scurry away from the window and encircle me. They try to console me, believing that me and Mush are done. But they don't get it. Me and Mush were never a couple. It can't be over.

Why would I blubber like a baby if we were over anyway? He won't be the only guy in my life. Besides, I've never gotten mopey about anyone before. I've had my share of dates, and when those were over, I hadn't cried, I hadn't moped over it or asked "WHY ME, GOD!"

Many a new day would dawn before I did.


	15. I See The Light

We're older now. Jack's left us for bigger and better things. You're in charge, and I'm okay with that. Medda's thrown one of her big parties for the newsies. We're supposed to go in costume and I've decided to wear a real dress for once. You've offered to escort me, and I find it odd. Years ago, I threatened to kiss you if you ever, ever got drunk. And when you pick up a glass of beer at the party, I bring it up again, asking if you wanted me to give you a kiss, purely joking. You smirk and say that, yes; you would actually like it if I kissed you.

For a moment, I'm caught off-guard. I pull back and stare, appalled, but pull my wits about me and give you a hard slap. After you shake it off, it's your turn to stare. I don't know what to do or say for the minute or so that we're just standing there, gawking at each other. All at once, everything is different, the world's shifted, and you're clearer to me.

I gulp, turn, and run. My face is flushed and I don't know why. I have to hide from you or else I might do something stupid. I see the light, and it terrifies me.


	16. Wasted

You and I are drunk. Tipsy…no…drunk. Definitely drunk. I sit on your lap and knock your hat off your head before running my hand through your hair. We're laughing, but I don't really know why. Once or twice our lips nearly touch, but then one of us cracks up and we go back to playing with each other's hair. I think there's one point where you whisper something serious in my ear. But I forget it very quickly. We collapse onto the couch in the Lodging House living room giggling, hugging each other, fully clothed.

I wake up in the morning to the sound of you scrambling off the couch. I know why. We haven't even kissed…not on the mouth. There was that incident when we were younger with cooties. I stretch out and sit up; only to have you put your face in front of mine. "You got drunk…" I smirk, poking your nose, the light filtering through the window makes my head pound.

"So did you. Are you going to kiss me, Babydoll?"

I shake my head. "No…not today."


	17. Forbidden

I don't really like the taste of beer. Its not the taste that makes me want it. Its the fact that I'm not allowed. Thats the reason I drink yet another bottle. I don't notice her until she's on me, until my hat is off my head and on the floor. Her hands are running through my hair, and it feels good. I lean into her touch. Reach out, unhesitatent, to touch her own hair.

Before I realize it, we're laughing. I don't know about what, but seeing her crack up makes me laugh. I brush hair away from her face, lean in and whisper in her ear.

"You're cute when you laugh." she doesn't even blush, and a few minutes later the comment is forgotten. Now we're on a couch. How we got to the lodge again, I don't know. Her laugh is in my ears as I fall asleep, holding her tightly to me.

When I wake up, Babydoll is in my arms, and my head is pounding. My eyes go wide, and I scramble away from the couch out of shock. As I toppled on the ground, Babydoll woke up.

"You got drunk." She accused. I smiled, remembering the previous night. Or, what I could remember.

"You did too." then, a sudden thought poked its way into my brain as she poked my nose. "Are you going to kiss me, Babydoll?" She smiles and stands up.

"No, not today." And as she walks away, and I press my hands to my temples, I smile slightly. I always want what I can't have. No matter the consequences.


	18. Summer

This is probably my last summer in the Lodging House, and it starts tomorrow. I slip my bracelet off my wrist and braid my hair as the boys file by. He stops and gives me one of his smiles, then says I better get to bed.

At my last party at Irving Hall, he dances with me and compliments me on the dress I'm wearing. I'm not able to stop smiling the whole time. As we walk home, he steals a kiss; I panic and run the rest of the way. I'm blushing the whole time.

The summer is over tomorrow; I'm mourning the end of it already. The living room is empty except for me, sitting quietly on the couch and looking out at the rain. The couch sinks a tiny bit when he sits next to me. His arm slips around my shoulders and I let him pull me close. I wish we were young again. I wish we were fifteen and fourteen again. But no…I'm turning seventeen next month. I can't stay here forever and it'd be better to leave on a high rather than a low. I wish I'd kissed him back after the party. I wish that I had something to say to him now. I wish we were spending this time together differently than just sitting in silence. I finally get up the nerve to look up at him after a minute, and I kiss him. I get up quickly and run up to my bunk.

I miss that summer…I should've done so much more but I wasn't ready. And now I'm leaving, just as the snow is melting into spring. I've left a letter for him on his bunk. Because I just can't bring myself to tell him in person.


	19. Gone

I don't like growing up. The boys in the lodge, they aren't the same ons that I grew up around. Their names blur together in my mind. I should know them. Since Jack left, since David, Race, Blink, Skittery, all left I'm in charge. I won't be for much longer. My time is almost up. Everyone knows it. Maybe Boots can take over for me. He's one of the only ones I actually know anymore.

Even Lightning, my very first friend, has moved on. She's married, now, even has kids. Twins. With that boy she promised herself, and me, she'd never fall for.

And then there's her. She's leaving too. Leaving me. After she's gone, I suppose there won't be anything left here for me. If there even is now. I'll most likely be the next to go. I can't be a newsboy forever. She can't stay at the lodge her whole life. We've known it since we were young. But knowing it now, that times wearing short, makes me act on the things I've, mostly, tried to keep hidden before. It's after a dance. Maybe my last. Medda had thrown it, because I think she knew we were going. I always did like Medda. I'd miss her, if I never saw her again. It was on the way home and...

She ran. And I made up my mind. The day she leaves, I get a kiss back. Just one. The very next day... I'm going.


	20. The Letter

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for that time at Medda's party when you said you'd like a kiss and I slapped you. I'm sorry for the time when we didn't talk for an entire day. I'm sorry for when I didn't kiss you the morning after we were both drunk. I'm sorry for all the times when I avoided your eyes. I'm sorry I ran when you kissed me after Medda's party. I'm sorry for every time that I ran.

But I'm not sorry for keeping the rock you gave me when we went to the attic.


End file.
